Grand Theft Voyager
by Spittlebug
Summary: Tom Paris was bored. While going through old Holodeck programs, he discovers something... Something amazing. He discovers Grand Theft Auto.  Not a crossover.


Tom Paris was bored. And whenever he was bored, he would try to make some new holodeck programs. But he was running out of ideas…

He decided to look through some old holo programs and just happened to stumble across something interesting. Something extraordinary…

A week later, Ensign Harry Kim was sitting in the mess hall, staring at Neelix's latest attempt at "cooking," when his best friend, Tom, tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Harry," he said nonchalantly. "What's with the long face?"

Kim looked glumly at his slop. "You know…"

"Well, I have some news that will cheer you up," Paris said. "Meet me at Holodeck 3 at 1900 hours. I've got a new program that I know you'll just love."

"Hmmm…okay."

So at 1900 hours, Harry found himself waiting in front of the holodeck, looking like a complete idiot and wishing that Tom would get a move on.

Finally, the blonde pilot made his appearance. "This better be good," Kim grumbled. "I've waited long enough."

"Don't worry, it's totally going to be worth it." Paris and Kim stepped into the holodeck and Tom straightened his posture. "Computer, late 20th century clothing. Run program 'Grand Theft Auto.'"

"Running program 'Grand Theft Auto.'"

The yellow and black grids shifted into a twentieth-century metropolitan area. Holograms walked nonchalantly on the sidewalks. Cars and trucks whizzed by on the roads. Kim was wearing a hibiscus shirt and khaki shorts, while Paris was wearing a button-up tee and flared jeans.

Kim squinted at Paris. "Grand Theft Auto? Does that mean we're going to steal an 'auto?'"

Tom clapped his friend on the shoulder. "They're called cars. And yeah, to start with. That's the name of the game."

A few minutes later, they were standing at the crosswalk at a traffic light. "I just don't get it," Kim said. "Why can't we take just ANY car? Like that one." He pointed to a blue sedan as it sped by.

"Because we have to get a sports car. They go faster and are just, I dunno. They're just awesome."

Kim nodded, pretending to understand his friend's obsession.

A white Corvette pulled up at the red light. Paris grinned. "This is it. Come on!" He opened the car door on the driver's side and pulled out the disgruntled driver, who fell on the ground. He motioned to Harry, who climbed into the shot-gun seat. Tom stepped on the gas and they were off.

"This is supposed to be luxury?" Harry complained. "There's hardly any room to move in here!"

"Ah, but the seats are leather. Besides, all that room's given up for the engine." Tom pressed hard on the accelerator. "Listen to her purr!"

Harry nodded again. But he was soon distracted by the sounds of sirens behind them. "Stop where you are!" A man in a uniform held up an object in front of them. Paris groaned and swerved around the person.

"Great. Cops," he grumbled.

"Cops?" Kim asked, confused.

"Cops. Police officers. Law enforcement." Paris turned to look at his friend. "You really outta study up on your twentieth century culture, Harry." He whipped around to see a police car tailing them. "Time to take drastic measures." Tom took a sharp swerve onto a seldom-used street.

"What are you doing?" Kim exclaimed.

"Trying to lose them." The rubber tires on the Corvette burned on the asphalt as Tom turned again, this time onto a parking ramp.

"How are we going to lose them up here?" Kim asked as Tom sped faster up the various levels.

"We're going to jump off."

"Jump off?"

"Brace yourself!" They were at the top level of the parking garage. Paris sped up and the engine roared as he and Kim flew off the ramp in the car.

"Whoa, this is awesome!" Kim breathed.

Kim's awesomeness was soon ended as they smashed to the ground, rolling in the vehicle. Tom leaped out of the Corvette and pulled his friend out of the other side. "Run! It's going to blow up!"

"Blow up?" There was a loud BOOM as the sports car exploded violently. "Oh. That."

"Well, I expected nothing less. We flew off from a five-story parking garage."

Kim squinted. "Why did we do that again?"

"To get away from the cops."

"Oh. Right."

Two hours and three wanted stars later, Kim and Paris emerged from the holodeck sweaty and exhausted but very happy.

Harry smiled at his friend. "I had fun," he said. "Thanks for taking me."

"No problem."

Tom wondered what the others would think of this new holodeck program…and he couldn't wait to find out.


End file.
